Why telling our stories helps us keep our spark

Have you noticed that the people who keep telling their stories often seem to keep their spark?

Purpose isn't something we lose when we grow older. It simply changes.

At thirty, purpose might be a career or raising children. At eighty, it might be passing on what we've learned, being the one who remembers how things used to be done, or simply knowing that someone still wants to hear what we think.

What the research says about purpose

The psychologist Carol Ryff developed one of the most widely used models of psychological wellbeing. Purpose in life is one of its six parts, alongside things like positive relationships and personal growth. Her work, and the studies built on it, link a sense of purpose with greater wellbeing and life satisfaction as we age.

The World Health Organization's Healthy Ageing framework makes the same point in practical terms. Healthy ageing isn't only about avoiding illness. It's about being able to keep doing what we value, including building relationships and contributing to others.

When someone asks an older person to tell their story, they aren't simply asking about the past. They're saying: "Your experiences still matter."

That may be one of the greatest gifts we can offer.

In care: it isn't always staffing, sometimes it's time

Carers want to build relationships. Families want personalised care. Managers want outstanding outcomes.

Yet every day is filled with schedules, visits and responsibilities.

That's why meaningful conversations don't always need to last an hour. Sometimes one thoughtful question asked during a cup of tea creates a connection that lasts for months. "What did you want to be when you were ten?" "What's the best advice anyone ever gave you?"

Person-centred care doesn't always require more time. Sometimes it simply requires better questions.

At home: every family has a storyteller

The uncle who makes everyone laugh. The grandmother who remembers every detail. The father who tells the same story every Christmas.

Celebrate them.

Because family storytellers don't simply entertain us. They keep family history alive. And being the family storyteller is a purpose in itself. Ask them for a story this week, and tell them how much it means to you.

A reflection

Ask someone: "What lesson took you the longest to learn?" You may receive wisdom that took decades to discover.

What piece of advice has stayed with you throughout your life?

At lembray, we believe every life deserves to be known before it is remembered, and that every storyteller deserves to know their stories still matter.